Our Halloween

I hope everyone had a safe Halloween yesterday and survived any frustrating encounters they may have had with their mother in laws. I did have to see my MIL yesterday but thankfully there were no angry blowups. We had a fairly nice Halloween. I will admit she still annoyed me, but I think at this point her simply breathing is irritating at times-in other words she is going to annoy me no matter what she does probably.

We took our 1 year old trick or treating downtown yesterday afternoon. Our town holds a special trick or treating event downtown for young kids every year. The point is for little ones to be able to safely trick or treat in daylight with their parents around all of the downtown shops. We were about halfway through when it began getting really breezy and chilly. Our daughter was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, so she began shivering in her little "Dorothy" dress. We decided we wanted to hurry down the block and visit a friend and then call it a day.

First however, Jack's mom called and said that she and her oldest son, his girlfriend, and his two children wanted meet us and see our daughter's costume. So we stopped at a place on the sidewalk where we agreed to meet and we waited....and waited...and waited! We probably only waited for 15 or 20 minutes but that felt like a long time when we have a cold baby and the wind is blowing. I turned to Jack and told him how annoying I thought it was to see adults without children, trick or treating and taking candy. After all this is a special community event just for the younger children so I found it rude that some adults would even considering dressing up and taking candy that should be going out to small children-especially when I kept hearing businesses say that they were running out of candy. So as we stood there waiting for Jack's family I mentioned my frustration with the adults to Jack. Not even five minutes later down the sidewalk came Jack's mom-carrying a trick or treat bucket. When she got down to us she proudly showed us her bucket and said she was trick or treating and getting candy too! Sigh. Oh well other than that, it was a fantastic day!

Happy Halloween 2011!

I wanted to go as a witch this Halloween...but my mother in law wouldn't let me borrow a dress!

Which One?

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought THREE women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"Wow! How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied: "Because I can't stand HER."

Don't Even Give Me That Look!

Today's cartoon does not really have to do with mother in laws however it sparked something in me. I cannot stand it when I say I am a stay at home mom or a housewife and people give me almost a sympathetic look as if to say, "It's okay, it is hard to find a job right now." Or they look at me with disgust as if they think I am completely lazy. Excuse me, you are working an 8 hour shift that you can clock out of and take ten minute breaks and a nice little lunch break. I am working a 24 hour shift with no scheduled breaks. I don't get to clock out of my job. As my grandmother always told me," A woman's work is never done".  In a way this cartoon does have something to do with my mother in law, because she has implied several times that she thinks I'm lazy and don't do anything but sit (oh how I wish just for a couple hours) while her son works so hard for us. Yes, it is true I stayed home with our child for 7 months while he worked an 8 hour shift overnight. However I did all the cooking, cleaning, taking trash out, playing with our daughter, changing her every diaper, taking her to the emergency room, teaching our daughter new words etc. The simple break down is I was a mother and a wife-a full time job! I would not complain except his mom made such a stink about me being so lazy yet I did EVERYTHING when it came to the home, and as soon as my husband clocked out at work he would say that he was tired and not to be bothered. If I asked him to take the trash out or wash a few dishes or even rinse his dishes off for Pete's sake so that they would be easier for me to wash later, his answer was "I already worked today I am done". Let me also state that when we first got married and I was pregnant I worked part time while he sat at home playing video games all day and I still managed to work and take care of everything having to do with our home. Then the baby came, and after two months I returned to work. Again I when I got off work I would come home and take care of everything that needed done at home-which was now a mountain of stuff with the baby. So exhausted from work, I came home tackled dishes, took care of my daughter tried to make dinner while my husband sat and played video games because he took care of her while I was at work so now he was done for the day. So whenever his mother implies I am lazy and don't do anything I just want scream at her! When you compare her to me I would have to say that she is the lazy one. She couldn't even be bothered to teach her son simple manners and how to act as an adult or as a husband/father. That is extreme laziness. When you are shaping and molding a child and young person into who they will become you don't get to skip a few steps. You see it through and make sure you give them everything you have to offer knowledge wise and if you don't know that much-you learn for yourself what needs to be taught! I am tired, stressed, mentally overworked and mentally stretched thin, but I am not lazy. My husband is so lazy that instead of opening a can of soup and pouring it into a pot and heating it, he will just call his mom to bring him fast food or something when he is hungry. Yes, I do normally cook for him however I am never thanked. When I was growing up my parents alternated who did the cooking often based on who was working. One thing I remember very clearly is that when we all sat down to dinner we ALL thanked the person who made the meal. So because I am never thanked have very little help in return sometimes when my husband says "I'm hungry" (translation- make me something to eat) I just say well there is soup in the cupboards and bread and such in the fridge. His response is almost always to walk away huffing mad and look for some chips or twinkies that his mom bought him or to text her and ask if she'll get him something to eat My husband just assumes it his given right to be served and fed when needed. Why? I would assume because whenever he was hungry his mommy just made him food. That is fine when you are little but come on, I wasn't even a teenager before I would say that I was hungry and if no one else was hungry but me, then I was reminded of where the tuna, lunch meat, soup, etc. was. That is part of growing up. Something my mother in law was to lazy to teach her own son. Now instead of having a child and a husband/partner to share the load and help me, I have two children to take care of and I hate to say it but my 1 year old has better manners than my "husband". Why? -Because I am not a lazy mother!.

Mail Order Mother-In-Laws

Wife – You hate my relatives!
Husband – No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.

Quotes about Mother-In Laws...

“I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”
~ Ken Dodd

Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
~ Mark Twain

 I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
~ Joan Rivers  

 "Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it."
~ Les Dawson

 "Difference between law and in-law is you can justify yourself before law but never before in-laws"
~Unknown

 "The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she was a daughter-in-law”
~Unknown

 “English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.”
~Brook Hays

Interesting spin on things...

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. ‘This young man agreed to marry my daughter,’ said one.

‘No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,’ said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence.

‘Bring me my biggest sword,’ said Solomon, ‘and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ said the first lady.
But the other woman said, ‘Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.’

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. ‘This man must marry the first lady’s daughter,’ he proclaimed.
‘But she was willing to hew him in two!’ exclaimed the king’s court.

‘Indeed,’ said wise King Solomon. ‘That shows she is the true mother-in-law.’

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her

Laughter is the best medicine...

Let's be honest, I am going to spend a large portion of time here simply sharing my horror stories about my mother in law. However every day I will be sure to post a cartoon, joke, quote, etc relating to mother in laws to keep us laughing and mixing things up a bit :)

I suppose things could always be worse :)

If Only I Had Known...

Once upon a time a young girl fell in love with her best friend. I would like to end this story right here and say that they lived happily ever after but unfortunately that is not the case. You see I am that girl and I had no idea what lie ahead for me or what the family was like that I would soon be marrying into. When I was first simply dating my now husband I thought that his mother liked me. I once planned a camping trip and she bought well over $100 in food for the camping trip for her son and I. So based on this action I assumed she must really like me. I had always dreamed of that perfect mother in law and daughter in law bond. While she was a lot different than me, I figured I could over look our small (or so I thought at the time) differences and become the best of friends. I should probably mention that I was 19 and my husband was 18 when our relationship became serious and we began considering marriage.

 I knew very little of his family background or about his family for that matter but my youth and love blinded me from the facts that were clearly there in front of my face. We were engaged 2 months after that camping trip when I had decided his mother and I would be best friends. For some reason my fiance insisted that we not tell his mother. I am not one for keeping secrets (I went right home and told my parents all about it). However I assumed that it was his Mother and he knew better than I did when would be the appropriate time to tell her. This made me rather nervous but I assumed he would tell her soon. One time when I was over she briefly said something in passing about making sure as a woman that I take care of myself and am being respectful while over. I took this to mean she was insinuating that we be using birth control and not having sex. While yes we were teens, we were both adults and that decision was ours not hers to make and I became even more nervous that my fiance hadn't told his mother about our engagement because he and I had decided that we were ready to start a family/ I had always wanted to be a young mother so that I could be there for my children longer and keep up with them. I urged my fiance to let his mother know soon about our plans to marry since we were also trying to start our family. During this time I learned that my fiance (we'll call him Jack) had been taken away from his parents at 3 years of age and placed into foster care. He also had 6 other siblings who were also all taken away and placed into foster care. Jack wasn't returned until he was 14 years old. To the best of my knowledge none of his other siblings were returned to his mother. I do not know why. This family is full of secrets. Some of his siblings were adopted by family members, but there are two youngest siblings that I am still unaware of their where abouts.

So with time passing and us trying to start our family I became increasingly concerned about Jack not telling his mother of our engagement. Then it happened. Two months later I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant! I was completely thrilled and felt so fulfilled inside. I was engaged to my best friend and finally going to become a mother. I told both of my parents that very day that I found out I was pregnant. Jack of course said we shouldn't tell his mom yet. I agreed to wait until I was 12 weeks pregnant to tell her because I wanted to be sure the baby was safe and growing healthy. So finally a couple months later I convinced Jack to tell his mother after my ultra sound about my pregnancy. I told him to take the ultra sound pictures and show her. She already had 5 other grandchildren and at this point we were both 19 years old so I thought she would be fine with it.

She sometimes makes me feel like a horrible wife and mother however I don't know why. I am sorry but she is a failure as a mother. My husband does not know how to do anything for himself because she has babied him since she got him back. She never taught him how to do anything for himself or taught him how to behave as a decent human being. This has become more and more apparent since the birth of our daughter. He refuses to help with our daughter most of the time and refuses to help around the house. After having our daughter I returned to work part time. When I got home I took care of our daughter the rest of the day, and took care of the house and was allowed no breaks because my husband could not put down his video game controller. I developed post partum depression and resented both my newborn and my husband. He would not even watch the baby so that I could shower. After I left the hospital, I went 2 and a half months before i got to take another shower! His mother never taught him anything about how to simply be a decent human being.

 She also is incredibly stupid when it comes to money. She made more money than I did when I only worked part time and she could never pay all of her bills and I often had to loan her money. She wastes her money on stupid stuff before getting the essentials. This has been passed on to my husband as well. He will buy a video game before paying the rent. (He plays video games an average of 6-12 hours per day) Sometimes his mom tries to help out by buying us stuff (which I hate because when we moved out she said we would never make it and that we would just need her-and I hate when she buys anything because now I have this fierce need to show that I can take care of my family) but the stuff she buys is complete crap. When she buys stuff for our daughter 9 out of 10 times it is toys and stuffed animals instead of clothing or diapers or formula. When she says she is dropping food off here, it is always crap! Diabetes runs heavily in both of our families and yet for example last time she bought us food it was 2 cases of soda, 2 family size bags of chips, a case of twinkies, a case of devils food cake, 2 cases of cracker jax, and a bag of candy! that was the "food" she dropped off. I do not allow my daughter to eat any of that and I try really hard not to eat that sort of stuff. When I told my husband how angry this made me and that he was the only person in the house who could eat that kind of food he simply got mad at me and said "So what, that's not my problem." sigh....This woman has seriously damaged my husband and I am only just now finding out how toxic she has been and still is too him. If only I had know all of this I certainly would have made different decisions. In order to divorce her I feel I will have to divorce him ...